"Follow Me" Part One

If I am being fully transparent, this series of posts have been tough ones for me to pen. This topic is one that the Lord has asked me to face head on before depersonalizing and resorting to typing away on the keyboard. Jesus, the Savior and redeemer of all things has invited me into places of my own heart to lovingly show my own depravity in this area and yet, His strength and grace is what wins out. Every. Single. Time. I share this in an effort to assure you that I have not arrived in this department and I would be dishonest in trying to claim that I have. This particular topic is an area of daily surrender in my life. And yet, He is showing me that it is okay to be in process and to bring others along as He reveals Himself to us along the path of surrender. "'My grace is sufficient for you, My power is made perfect in your weakness'. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9).

15 When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” 16 He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” 17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep." John 21:15-17

This account in John describes the third time that Jesus revealed himself to the disciples following His resurrection. Shortly after enjoying breakfast together Jesus begins speaking directly to Peter. During the ministry years of Jesus, Peter was the one filled to the brim with zeal and ready to "go to prison and to death" (Luke 22:33) with Him. He was the one who, during the transfiguration, wanted to build tents to house the glory he was witnessing (Mark 9:2-10). And on the night Jesus was betrayed he was the friend who jumped out to protect his beloved Teacher and struck the servant of the high priest and cut off his ear (Luke 22:49-51). And yet, prior to Jesus' death and just as He had foretold, Peter denied Him three times. All of this about Peter is what makes this account in John all the more beautiful. Jesus had already met with Peter on the day of His resurrection (Luke 24:34), and yet He was singling him out again here. Jesus asks Peter three times "do you love me?" to not only bring Peter to a revelation about himself and ultimately Jesus, but to restore him to right relationship with Jesus in front of the other disciples. As David Guzik writes in his commentary on this passage "Jesus asked the question twice using the word agapas, which in its Biblical usage often speaks of an all giving, uncaused, unselfish love. Peter answered Jesus using the word philio, which in Biblical usage sometimes has in mind a more reciprocal love, a friendly affection." Jesus wasn't asking Peter about his love so that Jesus could know, he already knew. He pushed this question three times to invite Peter into deeper self reflection. Some commentators believe that, following his denial, Peter was more reserved in his proclamation of devotion during this encounter, which would explain the use of the less radical word for love in his responses. I would suggest that Jesus was lovingly willing Peter to the place he finally arrives in his last response. "Lord you know everything; you know that I love you" (John 21:17). In this moment Peter came to the realization that Jesus knew his heart better than he ever could. In a posture of humility and surrender he invited his Lord to search his heart and see instead of trying so hard to prove his love and zeal by his own words or actions.

I'd like to suggest this is the place our Savior invites all of us to. No matter how you may be individually wired, the desire to be seen and known is hardwired into the heart of every human. If we are honest, we each have our own ways of trying to prove our worth, earn our seat at the table, or even outrun one another in an race for approval. I have spent most of my walk with the Lord stuck in that very cycle. Years of my christian walk have been consumed with trying to prove to God that I loved Him. I was caught in a cycle of self-effort and self-righteousness trying desperately to conjure up enough will power to be better or stop sinning or love God more. I ran myself into an emotional hell trying to earn the love of a seemingly far off God. When it really came down to it, I was tired, bitter, heartbroken, and insecure in my own efforts to please Him. 

Thank you Jesus for setting me free from myself. Over the last year the Lord has been rewiring my understanding of who He is in this area. I've gone from being a woman enslaved to the idea that every work, success, or good deed I did was earning me favor in God's sight (and the opposites were creating distance between Him and I) to a woman completely enveloped by the grace of God. I now realize that His grace alone is the empowering force that leads me in pleasing Him! This slight shift in my life has been monumental; through God's grace that I received in the gift of salvation I can now live from righteousness instead of for righteousness.

I think this might have been a little glimpse of what Jesus was showing Peter and what Peter would go on to teach many others. Our best attempts to please God out of the willing of our flesh are but filthy rags before him and will ultimately never hold up in the long run. However... the beautiful, kind, and grace filled news of the gospel is this; when we make Jesus the Lord of our life and fix our eyes on Him, He becomes our righteousness and He empowers us to good works. The ways in which He will use a surrendered follower will far surpass anything we could ever conjure up on our own! Even in Peter's ability to love Jesus he was able to see that he needed Jesus to love Jesus. We love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19). As some commentators note - Jesus didn't ask Peter "you won't do that again right?" or "are you sorry?", he drew him in to love. Jesus wasn't after words of repentance, or better conduct in this moment - he was after Peter's heart. Repentance, conduct, and all fruits of a sanctified life are rooted in love. Jesus wanted to get to the crux of the matter in order to call Peter unto Himself so that He could then commission him for the work ahead.

For the one reading who feels beaten down by the burden of "being a good Christian" or "having it all together" I see you, but more importantly, God sees you. He is not intimidated by the areas you have failed or will fail - He is simply inviting you into Love through surrender. He may be asking if you are willing to put down your self-effort and desire to please. He may be calling you to a deeper level of humility. He may be asking you the question "Am I enough? Or do you still need the admiration and accolades of this world?" In His love He is extending His hand in your direction, inviting you to throw away the rags of your old self and put on the righteousness of your new self that He died in order to give to you. "...as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness" (Ephesians 4:21-24) He doesn't need you to have all the answers, He just wants you to allow yourself to be loved by him. "This 'knowledge' puffs up, but love builds up. If anyone imagines that he knows something, he does not yet know as he ought to know. But if anyone loves God, he is known by God" (1 Corinthians 8:2-3). Our Redeemer is beckoning us as a people to abandon the lie that we must conjure up enough will power to "do good" for Jesus and inviting us to rest in His righteousness and, in doing so, participate in the outpouring of His Spirit in and through us. As Paul so plainly states "Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills but the Spirit gives life" (2 Corinthians 3:4-6). There is abundant life to be lived in the surrender of our own sufficiency and the choice to remain hidden in Love Himself. I would argue, this is the very call of discipleship in Jesus. 

I'd like to pause here and visit another moment in scripture between Jesus and Peter that I believe will give us context to the weight of this conversation. 

"Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers." Luke 22:31-32 

The passage above describes the moment before Jesus foretold Peter's denial. Jesus lovingly warns Peter that Satan has asked to sift him. Jesus was preparing Peter for the temptation ahead - but for me, this isn't the most profound part of what Jesus had to say to Peter. While Jesus always knew that Peter would deny Him in his own weakness - He also knew that, when empowered by the Holy Spirit, Peter would be the rock on which Jesus would build His church (Matthew 16:18). So in the same moment where He shows Peter the plans of the enemy He bestows on him a promise - "I have prayed for you." 

During a recent difficult season in my own life I felt these sweet words ring in my mind... "I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail." I'd like to invite you to pause for a moment and meditate on the fact that Jesus "is at the right hand of God, indeed is interceding for us" (Romans 8:34). All of our sifting may look a little different from one another. Whether you are grieving the loss of a loved one, in the midst of persecution for your faith, or struggling to make ends meet - Jesus is praying for you. Or maybe your sifting seems a bit more internal. You may struggle with the weight of depression, find yourself crippled by anxiety, or are trying your hardest to wait patiently for something you don't see in the natural, grappling between hope and despair. My friend, Jesus is praying for you this very moment. He sees you and He cares so deeply about you that not only did He nail all of those things to the cross for you but now He sits at the right hand of the Father praying that your faith would not fail you. Let's keep these things in mind as we journey back to our original text.

18 Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.” 19 (This he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.) And after saying this he said to him, “Follow me.” John 21:18-19

After gently guiding Peter into love where Peter wasn't afraid to lay bare and let the Lord search his heart, Jesus now knew that Peter could properly hear the things he had ahead for him. In the above verses Jesus tells Peter plainly that he would die on a cross for the sake of the gospel. Through this statement Jesus was giving Peter assurance from that which He had just restored him (his denial). Many commentators assert that He was assuring Peter that he would again face the challenge of the cross and this time he would embrace it.

After sharing the manner in which he would die to glorify the Lord, Jesus simply says "Follow me." The command "Follow me" is present imperative and can also be translated "Keep following me." This was an invitation to keep running the race. The bookends of Peter's relationship with Jesus during His ministry on earth were these two words; "Follow me" (Matthew 4:18-19, John 21:22). The first words from Jesus to Simon, a zealous fisherman, loyal to his core and ready to do something grand with his life were "Follow me." And the last words of Jesus to Peter, the first pastor of the church, humbled by his own limits and empowered by the knowledge that His Savior was now and forever interceding for him were "Follow me." The call on Peter's life to discipleship with Jesus never changed - but responding to that call changed the very nature of who he was and who he was becoming. 

I believe this is the simplicity of the gospel. Although weighty, the call to discipleship remains the same for all of us - Follow Jesus. You may find yourself disillusioned with life at the moment - Follow Jesus. You may feel disappointed and let down by your circumstances - Follow Jesus. You may have been hurt by the church or even those closest to you - Follow Jesus. You may, like me, struggle to do this christian thing in the power of your own strength - Follow Jesus. He is the author and perfecter of our faith. He is forever our portion. Discipleship is rarely easy, in fact Jesus shared plainly that it would be costly. But my friend - when, like Peter, we make the choice to pick up our cross and follow Him, we have submitted to the process of being radically transformed into a firebrand for the Lord. Intimacy with him creates hunger for Him. Hunger for Him creates dependency on Him. Dependency on Him burns away any lesser lover in our lives. When you choose to follow in step with the real thing every counterfeit this world has to offer will never hold a candle to time in His presence.

Whether you are a new believer or have been walking with Jesus for a long time, our call to follow him will never change. The road on which you walk with Him may not always be easy but making the daily choice to spend time with Him will be the strength that equips you for the journey. When you miss the mark, feel confused, or when you've come to the end of your rope, I would invite you to picture His nail pierced hands, clasped together, praying for you, by name.

My friend, He is delighted in who you are and all you are becoming.  He isn't deterred by your failures or weaknesses. He isn't surprised by your shortcomings or questions. He isn't afraid of the process. In His radical goodness He is simply extending the most intimate and incredible invitation of all time.  "Follow me."