Send Me

Hi friends! Long time, no blog. I have missed being in this space with you all. If I am being honest I have come to the keyboard a few times over the last few weeks thinking I knew what I wanted to write and stopped short every time. There are many things on my heart to share (and I'm sure we will dive in to those within the coming months) but I feel a particular burden over what I am writing today. As always, I am coming to you imperfect and without this concept completely ironed out - I am very much in process with regard to this topic but I feel led to invite you in to the process the Lord has invited me into over the past few weeks.

I think we can all agree that we live in a dark and dying world. I know those words feel depressing and weighty but I do feel it is the reality in which we find ourselves. Over the last month we have seen this reality displayed across every news outlet, online publication, and it has seemingly taken over the world of social media. Acts of evil, twisting of truths, and incredibly deep division overwhelms our news feeds and seems to increase with every scroll or click. If you are anything like me, it is so easy to get sucked into the vortex of this black hole. As someone who is a deep feeler, I have found it hard these last few weeks to peel myself away from the feed and, if I'm being honest, feel much joy or hope at all. Friends, I would argue this is not the way. Please hear me clearly, I am not suggesting we dig our heads in the sand and pretend as though our reality is not our reality. I am not encouraging anyone to stray away from addressing or exposing evil. On the contrary, I believe we are called to do those very things, and do them boldly - with the backing of scripture and the in the power of the Holy Spirit. I simply believe that the Lord ordains moments like these in history to awaken His bride - not send her into a dark cycle of depression and anger. I would argue that the Lord, in His sovereignty, allows these dark yet defining moments on earth to purify, commission, and send His people.

"And I said 'Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of Hosts!' Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth and said: 'Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for.' And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?' Then I said 'Here I am! Send me." Isaiah 6:5-8

We enter this passage directly after the prophet Isaiah has experienced a vision of the Lord. He saw the Lord sitting on a throne, filling the temple with His robe, being worshipped by the seraphim. In this moment, as Isaiah stood before the throne of God, he was undone at the depravity of not just himself, but the people of his day. His initial response to the revelation of God's presence was a deep grief of not only his own but also his nation's depravity before a perfect and holy God.

A few weeks ago I was cleaning my car, preparing for family to arrive the following day when a close friend of mine texted "Charlie Kirk has been shot." My initial reaction was utter shock. Shock that yet another person's life had been put at risk because of the evil in this world. Shock that someone who had so boldly proclaimed the Gospel across some of the darkest spaces in our nation had been shot on that very platform. Shock that this was the type of world we would be bringing our son into in the following months. An almost immediate heaviness settled in on my spirit. Over the next few hours as Adam and I watched the events of the day unfold that grief began to feel heavier and heavier. That afternoon I turned to Adam and, completely unaware as to why, said to him "I keep hearing Isaiah 6:8 - I keep feeling this press on my heart to be sent by the Lord, why is that coming up now?"

Over the coming days grief turned to confusion, in moments it morphed into anger, and at some points even led me into deep despair. What was so peculiar to me was that many believers I spoke to were all feeling the exact same things. Statements like "I don't understand why I am so deeply grieving someone that I didn't actually know" or "something about this has triggered something deep inside my spirit and I cant quite pinpoint why" were commonplace among my conversations with friends and family. So many believers were simultaneously grieved by the state of our world and the loss of a brother in Christ while feeling a greater push to boldly and radically share their faith. I found myself often whispering to myself in those conversations, "Lord, what are you doing?"

It wasn't until Charlie's memorial where I feel as though it finally clicked in many ways for me. Watching the gospel be so boldly and clearly spoken in a stadium of thousands while news anchors were saying the name of Jesus (not just God, Jesus) and talking about a move of the Holy Spirit had me undone. That is when it hit me, the reason Isaiah had come to mind the day of Charlie Kirk's assassination. The Lord was awakening his people. He was using a horrible act of evil to show us the power of His glory when put on display. He was shaking us from a slumber of passivity and compliance with cultural norms and igniting a fire of zeal in our hearts.

Friends, I believe we are in a marking moment of history. Never in my lifetime have I seen the gospel so boldly preached to such a widespread audience. Statistics are showing that Bibles across our country are flying off the shelves. My church alone cannot keep their Bibles stocked. Amidst all of the controversy and arguments on my social media feed I am also seeing posts that read "How do you sign up to go to a church? Do I need to buy tickets?" or "I bought my first Bible today" or "I took my family to church for the first time this Sunday." Y'all, unchurched people are seeking the God of the Bible! Families are hearing the gospel message for the first time! People are seeking JESUS! This is incredible.

As I have watched in awe over the past few weeks a constant prayer of mine has been "Lord, what would you have me do?" Time and time again I have felt the Lord redirect me to this passage in Isaiah. I believe the Lord is calling His people to a deep place of humility - much like the prophet Isaiah when he stood before the throne of God. It is so easy to see a move of God spark in a nation and begin to chase the shiny things that always seem to accompany such a move. It's easy to want to see grand displays of God's power and even champion the idea of the Lord raining down judgement on those that disagree with you and I. Now please hear me correctly, I love radical moves of the Holy Spirit. I would never put God in a box and say "He would never do this or do that." And to be sure, there is a deep zeal in God's people being cultivated right now to go out and boldly proclaim the only truth that can save. All that I am suggesting is that, as His people and much like Isaiah, our response to the presence of God in a place should always be a posture of humility and repentance FIRST. See how, in the story of Isaiah's commissioning that he was led to a place of repentance, purified by a coal heated by the fire of the altar of God, and THEN God asked him the question (to which he already knew the answer), "who will go for us?"

I believe this sequence of events is no mistake. And, in my humble opinion, I believe it could serve as a roadmap for those of us who find ourselves in this incredible hour on planet earth. Friends, as the body of Christ we are called to lead the charge in repentance. Where darkness increases, light increases all the more. We are being called in this hour to be the salt of the earth, we should want to be salty (not in the sassy sense, in the biblical sense, of course). Our purity before a Holy God as He commissions us to go and make disciples is paramount.

"Who shall ascend the hill of the Lord? And who shall stand in His holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to what is false and does not swear deceitfully. He will receive blessing from the Lord and righteousness from the God of his salvation. Such is the generation of those who seek him, who seek the face of the God of Jacob." Psalm 24:3-6

I'm not sure about you but my deepest desire is to stand in the holy place of God. When sharing the power of the gospel I want to be able to display that life altering power through the radical transformation of my own life with no credit to myself but only to the wonder working power of the blood of Jesus. I desire to be counted among those in the generation who seeks God's face.

I believe our call in this hour is to that of repentance and returning. A returning to the heart of God. A returning to the truth of the Gospel without the political correctness of culture. A returning to radical obedience and a life laid down at the altar. God is purifying his people. He is ushering you and me through a place of surrender of our comforts, our pet sins, our hidden motives, and all other forms of impurity and into a place of greater commissioning. I believe His eyes are roaming the earth in search of those who will exchange the comfort of conformity, spiritual laziness, and even slumber for a life of clean hands and a pure heart among a lost and dying generation. Friends, I believe the Lord is inviting us into deep humility and repentance and out of our own pride, ego, and assumptions about what a move of God should look like.

In my humble opinion, I believe a move of God at it's core may look something like what we find in Isaiah. As the people of God return to the heart of the Father in rest and repentance we may find ourselves hearing the sweet echo of His voice on the earth saying "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" I'm not sure about you but I'm overwhelmed at the thought of what the Lord could do with an entire generation of His people, humbly surrendered to the purifying fire of repentance, whispering back "Here I am Lord, Send me."